Tarts and Bones

I have a snoring little Carter next to me. He wasn't feeling well and wanted to sleep next to me. He asked so nicely that it wasn't possible to say "no ".

In the next room Tony is lying in Carter's bed playing a game.  Today he came to me and discussed some things of a sensitive nature with me. It was so sweet and I felt so grateful that he felt that he could come to me and talk about it in such a mature manner. It wasn't anything major at all, but it was important enough to him.

As I am writing, Carter has flopped his arm over me. He is actually pretty warm despite having had Neurofen, but I don't want to move him as he looks so darn cute! 

People always tell you you won't believe how much love you have til you have children. I think you can surprise yourself with how much you can love anyone/anything, whether it be a relationship, a pet, a friend etc, but I also understand the child thing. 

I'm not a big big crier, but there is something about watching your child that can bring tears to my eyes. I don't even know why!! They aren't happy tears, or sad tears, they are tears that just come from nowhere.  It's like you are filled with emotion that just has to get out somehow...and it seems the eyes are a good place.

I often think about what it is about your own child  that brings such strong emotions.  They are a lot of work and can be very demanding at times, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for my boys.  

It's like commencing a project. You take it on not entirely sure of the outcome, but go for it anyway. The project of having a child takes all your blood, sweat, and tears and quite honestly, it will never be finished.  But throughout the process, you get to stand back (or in my case lie next to) and marvel at what your work has accomplished.  When you are working at it day after day, you are sometimes too close to really appreciate how much work has been put in and how far your project has come, but now and again (when your project is asleep and can't run way from you), you get to see the big picture coming together. 

I think this is the overwhelming feeling that comes over me.  

The connection with your child is unexplainable really, but how could you not feel an amazing bond to something that holds a piece of you.