Saturday, November 23, 2013

A parenting win

My two boys have very different personalities. I believe that when it comes to the nature vs nurture debate, it's a little naive to believe it comes down to nature OR nurture. You only have to look at families with more than one child to realise children come with their own personalities. They just arrive that way.
Nurture has an enormous role to play too.  The experiences of a child in their early years of life lay the foundation for how they will view themselves and the world. Their experiences in life, particularly within their immediate family, influence them, but some qualities just seem ingrained. 

Due to how they have been raised, I see similarities in my boys. They laugh at the same jokes and enjoy the same sorts of foods. But I also see so many differences. Tony is quite shy upon first meeting people, and Carter is confident. 
Tony tries to do the right thing and aims to please, whereas Carter marches to the beat of his own drum. They are both such beautiful individuals who we adore. 

The thing is, because they are different, it can at times make me wonder about whether or not my own parenting style suits them. I hope it does. I find we are bombarded with such an enormous range of parenting advice nowadays. Each new trend in parenting seems to contradict last weeks parenting trend. It's confusing!

The crux of what most parents what is for their child to be safe, happy, and loved. 

There are multiple "I love you"s said in our house every day. I have noticed we say it freely, perhaps even without thinking at times, but this doesn't take away from the fact we truly mean it. 

As Carter left my bedroom a few days ago, without thinking I said;

"Thanks Tarts. I love you."

To which he replied;

"I know Mum. I always know that."

It was just a casual remark to him, but days have passed and I realise now the importance of his comment. He knows he is loved. I may not always feel like the best parent, but this is one area I feel like we have done something right. 

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