Sunday, July 14, 2013

Conundrum

The school holidays have come to an end. I am both thrilled and saddened at the same time. These past weeks have been a lot of fun, combined with plenty of bickering and 'dobbing'.

These holidays I cracked a pretty heavy duty riddle though. For almost 8 years I have tried to figure out how these little people we allow into our lives have so much power over us as grown adults.

Surely by looking at us, you would think parents would always be the superior beings. Our size and strength alone means we 'should' be able to rule the world of children with ease.

Secondly, our fully developed brains should indicate intelligence so superior that we have no hope of being mentally broken.

Finally, we have a host of 'super powers' that come into effect the minute that baby is put into your arms.

There is the power of disguise. We can disguise unwanted vegetables, meats, and any other foods so well our targets have no idea they are consuming anything nutritious. We can disguise chores as a game, and a boring errand as something adventurous.

There is the power of super tuned hearing. No matter how big the crowd, or how quiet the call, we can pick the voice/cry of our own little person. Even if 1000 children were calling "Mum!!", we are able to identify the single voice calling us.

And of course the ever necessary eyes in the back of our heads. No need to use the rear view mirror, we know who is causing trouble in the back seat. We know when faces are being pulled behind our backs, and who is pinching who before anyone places any blame.

Female adult species are bestowed an extra gift of additional (yet invisible) hands and an all-knowing mind. They know where everyone and everything is at ALL times and use their additional hands to cook dinner, whilst feeding a child, talking on the phone, AND doing the banking online.

We are well equipped to conquer the little beings in our home. Yet time and time again they come out on top. Logic had left me lost as to how they do it. What is their hidden power? Their kryptonite to our superpowers?

I have found the answer these holidays. All children posses a superpower that leaves us weak and bordering on helpless.

It is the power of.....endless energy.

This superpower weakens all adult defences. It begins with sleep being unnecessary, happily exchanged for midnight games and DVD watching.  Then comes rising before the sun, and the need for constant movement. It is able to transform a well planned day into wild mess. Order into chaos. It turns an organised mind into a chunk of cheese.

Thankfully these powers weaken with time and begin to taper after several years. Strangely enough, at around the 13 year mark, the opposite seems to come into effect and what was once a wild ball of endless energy turns into what can only be described as a sloth. I never thought I would say this but part if me is looking forward to the teenage years.

2 comments:

  1. I know, why do the kids get all the energy and the parents almost none! It really should be reversed and everyone would be happy - no bored kids and parents would be on too of everything.

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  2. You are spot on Jo - endless energy and also this little bit of string they are each born with that wraps us as parents around their little finger and tugs at our heart often. Much love, Mum xoxo

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