The Break Up - a lesson for all

One of my top ten movies is "The Break Up". I know it may seem like an odd choice to some, but I have my reasons, the main one being the awkwardness I feel watching the opening scene. It feels so authentic to me.

In the first 15 minute of the movie, the couple have a fight. It begins over lemons but evolves into an all out attack on one another.

There is a moment where both parties are hurt, but also know they are responsible for hurting the other. For a brief second, both are driven to let down their guard and apologize, but neither gives in to their pride.

I can pinpoint the spot where if either got up, walked over to the other, wrapped their arms around them and said they were sorry, all would have been smoothed over. Those barriers would have been broken down and that feeling of relief would have flooded in - you know that feeling, where all is right in your world again.

But why can it be so hard to apologize to a loved one? Why in the heat of the moment do we fight against that impulse to make things right?

A large chunk of it is pride I'm sure, or of course there are times we feel we are in the right. There is built up resentment from previous annoyances and bottled up emotions that all comes spewing out once that initial issue arises. We get our back up and get defensive. We get hurt and angry.

But behind any other feeling, the truth is we just want everything to be right again. We need that hug to break down the barrier and to both say and hear;

"I'm sorry"

I think Anthony and I are fairly good at this. We TRY to make sure we focus on the ACTUAL issue and not let things escalate. How do we do this? A hug.

If only Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn had just paused for a hug. I guess that would have made a pretty rubbish movie though.